Dad R.I.P.

I wrote this the day after my dad died. I was sobbing my eyes out but this just came to me,it helped me a lot over the next few days, Also in this story are my 2 nana`s my 2 grandads and my uncle David. Also my dads dog Patch and my brothers dog Zoe, All who are sadly not with us anymore.

The cold wet touch on his hands was what made him open his eyes, as he opened his eyes he saw 5 figures standing around him"Hello son" 4 of the voices said in unison. The 5th figure said"it`s about bloody time John, i`m dying for a pint" The other4 figures groaned at his bad joke, but they all had a little smile on their faces.

As his vision started to clear he could make out his mother and father and also his mother and father in-law. The 5th figure came into view and it was his brother in-law David. He started to get to his feet waiting for the aches and pains that he`d had for the last few years to start to creep over his body, but as he stood there was no pain, no aches, the only ache was the ache he felt for leaving his darling wife and kids behind.

As he stood he again felt the cold,wet touch on his hands, he looked down and saw his old dog Patch and his sons dog Zoe licking his hands. As the dogs realised that John had saw them they began jumping around wagging their tails. "calm down you 2 give me a minute and i`ll take you for a walk"

"If you want i`ll come with you" said David, everyone looked at him, knowing that david wasn`t one for dog walking. "Well as long as we go via the Mauritania" As the others groaned again John piped up " aye you know what David.......i`d love a pint myself" I`ll get the leads you get the beer money". The others laughed as David mumbled under his breath as he went for his wallet.

The day that moxey was born

Well here goes.

It all started in the summer of 1989 i was on a 3 week trial at the printers where i still work now.
It was a red hot day,the sun beating down on the factory where i was a printers assistant. The
boss was going on holiday with his family in a couple of days time, he asked me if i would go to his
and help the gardener.
We got to work on the 2nd of the bosses gardens,the 1st had a small lawn a greenhouse and bbq,
we walked to the 2nd and it was like a jungle, weeds,nettles and overgrown rose bushes were taller
than me.After about 3hrs of none stop work we had cut and raked everything up, there was 4 huge
piles of plants that i had raked up,with me being on a 3 week trial i thought to myself that the
boss would surely be impressed with my work rate and i would get a contract to stay with the company then the gardener said that we should burn the dry grass stubble to finish off the work.

At that time there wasn`t bit of wind, the sun was beating down blue clear sky above then the
gardener said grab a rake and we`ll burn a bit at a time,then he lit the fire, it started slowly at first
then began to spread. We started to beat the grass with the rakes but no luck, the wind picked
up and the fire spread and spread. The gardener told me to run and tell the boss.

I ran through the garden and towards the house, as i approached it it was going through my
mind will i knock on the door or just burst through,its funny how little things like that can make
you question what to do. As i raced towards the house i saw the boss in the kitchen, i ran in and
through panting for air i said "its out of control" the boss just looked and asked "what is?"
my reply was "the f-f-f-fire"
He didnt know where to run back in the house to phone the fire brigade or out to the garden
eventually he came out to see the inferno that had now crept in the the neighbours gardens.

The tree at the bottom of the garden was starting to catch fire, we ran and got buckets of water
while the boss shouted to his wife to phone the fire brigade. We ran down to the blaze with buckets slopping water all over the place, the bosses wife and kids were filling our buckets up
and we were running to put out the fire. In the end the fire brigade came and calmly put out the remander of the fire.

Back at work and i told the lads what had happend and 2 secs later i got my nickname of moxey
the arsonist from auf wiedersehen pet.

But the story dosen`t end there on the day that the boss was going away i had to help a printer
with a thermographing job, which entails putting a freshly printed sheet of paper into powder
then onto a conveyor belt that takes the sheet into a heater,like a big toaster and when it comes
out the other end the print has bubbled up. Well i had been doing this job all morning with no problems
then as i put a sheet on the conveyor i noticed the boss was walking towards me, i must have
panicked and i didn`t put the sheet on right so as it went under the heater it was twisted and
it snagged on the side if the machine. a raced to the other side and there was only about an inch
of the sheet sticking out, i could see the sheet was darkening and was going to burst into flames.
I grabbed the corner of the sheet just in time for it to catch fire, i pulled the sheet out flung it
to the ground and stamped on it to put out the fire. By this time the boss had raced over and as
i finished stamping on the sheet he said "not content with burning my garden down your trying
to burn my f-fing buisness down".

I thought that was the end of it and it would slowly be forgotten but Billy Joel decided to bring
out a song a week later called We didn`t start the fire. And my misery was complete.

joke time

A man walks into a drug store with his 8-year-old son.They happen to walk by the condom display, and the boy asks, "What are these, Dad?". To which the man matter-of-factly replies, "Those are called condoms, son. Men use them to have safe sex.""Oh I see.", replied the boy, pensively. "Yes, I've heard of that in health class at school."
He looks over the display and picks up a package of 3 and ask, "Why are there 3 in this package?"The dad replies, "Those are for high-school boys. One for Friday, one for Saturday and one for Sunday.""Cool!" says the boy.
He notices a 6-pack and asks "Then who are these for?""Those are for college men", the dad answers, "TWO for Friday, TWO for Saturday and TWO for Sunday.""WOW!" exclaimed the boy;"
Then who uses THESE?" he asks, picking up a 12-pack.With a sigh, the dad replied, "Those are for married men, One for January, one for February, one for March..."


An elderly couple was watching a show where a preacher wastalking about the healing powers of God."To all of those who are ailed by some sickness, place your hand on the screen & I will heal you!" the preacher exclaimed.The old lady, who was having some stomach problems, placed her hand on the top of the T.V. The old man placed his hand on the T.V. also, then stuck his hand deep into his pants. His wife looks over at him and says, "Gordon, the preacher is talking about healing the sick, not raising the dead!"


What's the difference between light and hard?
You can go to sleep with the light on.


An Irishman had been drinking at a pub all night. The bartender finally said that the bar was closing. The Irishman stood up to leave and fell flat on his face. He tried to stand one more time; same result.He figured he'd crawl outside and get some fresh air and maybe that would sober him up.
Once outside he stood up and fell flat on his face. So he decided to crawl the 4 blocks to his home. When he arrived at the door he stood up and again fell flat on his face. He crawled through the door and into his bedroom. When he reached his bed he tried one more time to stand up. This time he managed to pull himself upright, but he quickly fell right into bed and was sound asleep as soon as his head hit the pillow.
He was awakened the next morning to his wife standing over him, shouting, "So, you've been out drinking again!" "What makes you say that?" he asked, putting on an innocent look. "The pub called -- you left your wheelchair there again."



A jew, a priest, and a rabbi walk into a bar.The bartender says "Is this a joke?"

no more wow

Well the time has come for me to admit to myself that my time on wow has come to an end.
Lately i have just logged on, looked at the screen then logged straight back off.

I am fortunate to have met some great people,people that i can now call friends and at the same
time i have met some real assholes, people that can turn you off playing mmo`s for life with their constant talk of themselves.......but enough of them.

The good people far out number the bad ones (thankfully) it all started for me about 2 months
after wow came out, i was soloing in duskwood and got into a group with a paladin, a dwarf pala at that. I joined his guild almore was his name and we had fun with libby and thisstleknott.

Then i was in duskwood again with my hunter called newkiebroon and i got talking to another paladin who realised that i was a geordie and invited me to his guild. It was then that i really
started enjoying wow, getting to know some of the best people who have played wow.
There was Tylk, his lovely wife ash, yanne,dark,nexus, los and vik. It sure was good while it lasted, but as in everything in life the good times dont always last. The dark side lured some of the players over and RR went into freefall.

Lets hope that our new begining is as good as wow was........no lets hope its better.

Some funny excuses from people

"My son is under a doctor's care and should not take P.E. today. Please execute him."

"Please excuse Lisa for being absent. She was sick, and I had her shot."

"Dear School: Please ekscuse John being absent on Jan. 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, and also 33."

"Please excuse Tommy for being absent yesterday. He had diarrhea, and his boots leak."

"Please excuse Jennifer for missing school yesterday. We forgot to get the Sunday paper off the porch, and when we found it Monday, we thought it was Sunday."

"Please excuse Mary for being absent yesterday. She was in bed with gramps."

Well the toon finally won today phew at long last King Kev got the win we needed to shut the
soft southern press up. God they have had it in for Kev, most of which is not deserved.